Apparently Britney Spears can spot them a mile away, but not all of us know when we have a womanizer on our hands. Charming, attentive, interested, witty, flirtatious — these are some traits that a womanizer posses. He knows exactly how to make a woman feel special, different from the rest, and like his one and only. The only difference between a womanizer and a good man is, a womanizer acts in this manner to get in your pants, not your heart.
So how do you know this guy’s the real thing and not just some womanizer who’s going to disappear after your first slumber party? What follows are 10 red flags that the guy you are dating could be a womanizer.
1. OVERLY COMPLIMENTARY
In any case, being ‘overly complimentary’ is a sign of some manipulation or hidden agenda. A womanizer knows women love compliments and they try to use that to get all the women they want. He will always find a random compliment even if there is any real reason to give it. If your man overdoes his ‘you’re beautiful’ and ‘you have a sexy smile’ then you might need to watch out because the chances of them been insincere are high as all he is trying to do is just flatter you. Womanizers tend to give too many compliments as they believe it’s a secret weapon to get any woman.
2. ‘SHOWS’ A LOT OF INTEREST IN YOU
A womanizer knows that the easiest way to get a girl swooning over him is to make her feel great about herself. So he praises her, ‘listens’ to all her opinions and views, lets her talk and pretends to be really interested in everything she says, showers her with attention, and in just a few weeks he has already declared his love and tell you he’s found his soulmate – he could be too used to saying those words (practice makes perfect). Basically, he makes her feel like she has found ‘the one’. Most men find it difficult to express their feelings. If a man has strong feelings for you, he’s unlikely to tell you after just weeks.
3. HE’S A BIT TOO CHARMING/INTERESTING
He’ll come of as a personable and interesting man, and will try to win you over through his charming ways. He will make you fall in love with him and convince you that he loves you back but then he starts ignoring you and then you realize that he doesn’t give a single crap about you. You wanted to forget him but you can’t because you’re head over heels in love and deep deep down inside you still have hope that he will change. Wanna know a secret? They want girls to have feelings for them because they need validation – it feeds their ego.
4. GIVES YOU PET NAMES
Does your guy call you ‘baby,’ ‘sweetheart,’ or ‘darling’ instead of using your name? If you haven’t been dating him long, he’s probably a womanizer. Many men do this not only to make women swoon, these easy pet names are the perfect way to make a girl feel special without mixing up real names. Very clever.
5. LATE NIGHT TEXTS/CALLS
You’ve been getting texted routinely at 10:30 PM. And if they begin to encroach upon the 12:00 AM – 3:00 AM time window, it probably isn’t his first one of the night – chances are things didn’t go well on his hunting grounds so he’s seeing if you’re up for some late night fun. Anything after midnight is a NO GO ZONE. You’re going to have to put your foot down at some point, but the truth is, he sees you as a back up. He has your number, he can call you at any point and ask you out, but he hasn’t. Do you really want to be a 1:00 AM option? Even if it’s an innocent question (not a booty call), sounds like he hasn’t gotten to know you well enough to make requests of your time in that fashion. If he’s not interested in doing something with you at a more respectable hour while your relationship develops, you know where he stands. Even with legitimate reason, do you really want to get involved with a dysfunctional situation that results in 1:00 AM dates only?
6. NEVER FULFILLS HIS PROMISES.
A Womanizer lures women with sweet words and empty promises. He wants you on his bed so he knows promising you the world could make you fall for him. So imagine a scenario where he makes promises to about 10 ladies, he will definitely going to find it difficult because he won’t have the time or money to come through on these promises. Promises are just words. We don’t want words, we want actions. His ACTIONS will always tell what the REAL DEAL is. What he REALLY feels will be shown in his ACTIONS. Not only will you see the other person’s feelings in THEIR ACTIONS, other people will see it too.
7. TAKES FOREVER TO REPLY.
If a guy’s into you – and you only, he’ll make the effort to stay in touch. If, on the other hand, a guy is into you, Sydney, Monica and Jennifer, he’ll have to be glued to his phone 24/7 to be in regular contact with all of you. Womanizers, don’t devote their time to one girl, instead they keep the contact to a bare minimum and will often use work as an excuse. You’ll be out of sight, out of mind and he’ll only be interested in making the effort when you’re right in front of him.
8. SLIPS UP IN CONVERSATION AND FORGETS ABOUT THE THINGS YOU’VE TALKED ABOUT BEFORE
Juggling a lot of girls is not an easy task, so a player is bound to slip-up at some point – unless he has photographic memory! Perhaps he’ll ask how your tennis practice went when you don’t even play that sport or talk about how you both like Basil Pesto when in fact, you told him that your favorite is Pasta Puttanesca. He might even repeat a story that you’ve heard several times before. If you notice he’s constantly getting his facts wrong about you, the chances are he’s dating several other women and can’t keep up.
9. QUITE THE REPUTATION
He is rumored to be a man who relentlessly pursues then abandons members of the opposite sex – a skill bestowed upon him to demonstrate what a BADASS he is leaves behind a string of broken hearts. Too many women are far too trusting. We can’t imagine someone who tells us he loves us, then going off to meet other women and telling them the same. The presumption that he, or any womanizer has a heart is actually incorrect. He’s too busy loving and conquering the entire world to have a heart or conscience. The real issue is how you were lured into his claptrap when it was a relationship with substance you sought. You and he were after different goals to start with. You know what they say, where there is smoke, there is fire so girl get your butt out of that building before you get burned!
10. DOESN’T BELIEVE IN TITLES
He refuses to refer to you as his girlfriend, saying that he doesn’t ‘believe’ in titles. He says all he is focused on right now is work and building his career but in reality, they refuse to make it ‘official’ so they can have the benefits of being your boyfriend without the responsibility of one (meaning they can go around and play). And you have no right to complain because he is not your boyfriend. Oh by the way, some will avoid going out to public with you. Sketchy huh? He’s probably trying to hide you.
He used you and you’re angry, now you want pay back and it’s understandable. The truth is you cannot beat a Relationship Fraud at their own sociopathic game. He already knows that he hurt you – believe me he doesn’t care. Your feelings were hardly an obstacle for him in the past, I don’t see how that would be a problem for him in the future. You are not conniving, callous, dishonest, insensitive or paranoid enough. You never will be (I hope). You could only break his heart if he truly cared about you to begin with. You haven’t really known this man long enough for a real relationship to be formed.
The best way to get him back is by forgetting him and moving on. You hate him, yes? Then don’t let him take up space in your head. Don’t be nasty because that will bite you back. Why waste your time instead you need to move on with life, find someone who deserves your love and attention. And don’t sleep with them so soon after meeting them. As for the man who played you, he will slip over a cliff on his own someday, no need to push him and get yourself in trouble.
*** Why am I so bitter and resentful? Hahah!